Start with approx 1 cup of bacon grease collected over time just like Jon’s mom said to do.
Pour grease into small disposable aluminum loaf pan.
Insert pan with grease into burning wood stove.
Wait.
Watch.
Wait.
Watch as oil ignites with a whooosh that’s vaguely reminiscent of a chimney fire.
No, that woooosh is exactly how you remember that chimney fire.
Close stove air intakes and continue to watch fire.
Watch oil flames wisp around in firebox, watch flu thermometer climb over 800 degrees.
Wonder where that fire extinguisher is, after all.
Give up looking for fire extinguisher and consider wet blankets or baking powder. Lots of baking powder.
Watch flames, thinking that you might as well know what it looked like before it burned your house down.
Catch a glimpse of something and think “is that thermometer falling?” Are those flames receding?
Doubt yourself and your memory of the previous thermometer readings.
Doubt your sight. Blame wishful thinking.
Praise God (get religion, for a moment). Believe in miracles.
Continue on with evening.